part two of my NaNoWriMo failure!

As I tape up my binder for the umpteenth time and think about how much damage an F on the Chem lab will do to my GPA, I look around my bedroom. The walls, still with ancient paper from the 1970s on them, have been covered with 17 years' worth of academic achievements. One hundred percents, ribbons, letters from teachers, doctors, and even the president. Trophies from various academic competitions, all first place, line the shelves. My collection of books lie in rolling boxes under the bed, where they've gathered dust while I do my schoolwork.

My bed is my favorite place in my whole bedroom. It's a huge king-size, but that's not what I love. My headboard wraps around two sides of the bed and is basically a giant, cloth-covered speaker system. It's lovely to fall asleep with “Yesterday” playing all around me. It's like a warm embrace from Sir Paul himself.

“Who Are You” comes on and suddenly I don't feel like screaming, or even being angry. I feel like crying for a very long time and sleeping. Sleeping so deeply that I don't have to feel.

In the morning my alarm blares and I stumble, bleary-eyed, to the bathroom. I know today's going to suck, so I grab my “Live at Albert Hall” concert tee. I didn't go, of course, but my dad did.

Crud. Thinking about my dad has made me even more depressed. He's where I got my love of old music from, but he's not here right now. He's a lawyer and he used to always be really busy and over-stressed until one day, he just collapsed. He was at work and one Saturday we got a call from the hospital. “Is this Elizabeth Trick?” “Y-yes?” Mom's voice had faltered. “This is Doctor Peter Milzimth, at United Hospital. Your husband, Jonathon Trick, suffered a severe heart attack earlier this morning. He is in critical condition. Ma'am, I suggest-” but the voice from the phone had stopped because Mom dropped the phone. She picked up everything and raced to the hospital, where she found Dad undergoing emergency heart surgery. That was three years ago and Dad's still in a nursing home. Apparently 65-year-old lawyers have to be watched around the clock after heart attacks.

Shoving a Pop-Tart into my mouth, I walk to the bus stop, earbuds already in place. I'm back to angry today. “You Better You Bet” was playing, and just in time too. Sam steps outside his house and jeers, “Hey loser. You ever gonna wash that hair, rat face?” This day's just off to a great start.

At school, Tim greets me at my locker with a frown. Something's wrong. I ask him what and he says, “Jackie dumped me.” As he says the words, Tim seems to deflate like a balloon. That's the third girlfriend that's dumped him this year! “Why?” I ask, but my heart's sinking because I already know. Tim ducks his head. I knew it! Jackie found out, like Samantha and Willa before her, that Tim's best friends with me. Tears rush to my eyes. I throw my books at him and run blindly to the bathroom. Tim's calling me and people are laughing but I don't care. I'm so mad at Tim for blaming me and mad at myself for being such a freak that I don't see a kid step out of the office right in front of me. He must be new because I've never seen him before. He has sandy brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes and he's wearing a Who shirt! Good Lord, I think my heart just stopped.

His voice jolts me back to reality. “Hey, sorry! Cool shirt.” “Th-thanks, you too,” I stammer. “I'm Zach.” “Clayre.” He extends his hand. Does anyone do that anymore? My hand reaches out and Zach grasps it. His hand's cool in mine and he doesn't seem nervous at all about being in a new school.

We Bought a Zoo

Loved it even more the second time around <3

Today

Just finished sledding with my siblings and a bunch of neighbors that have become our fanily's best friends. It's always a bunch of fun :)

We play this game called "Human Target" where 2 people stay at the bottom of our huge hill and the others sled down and try to hit them. It's really fun! :D My friend though kept hitting trees, so we promptly named him "the Tree Magnet". Then we played my friend's game called "Running" where we run across the icy hill and try not to fall. My friend was REALLY GOOD at it; I mean he only fell ONCE. I only made it ACROSS once.

Then we tried to pile all six of us on a sled and it was crazy. My friend (he's a year older than I am) sat in front of a long sled, I sat in back kneeling with my hands on his shoulders, then his sister sat on my arms, my brother on his lap, my sister on my lap, and his other sister on top of all of us. It was sooooo much fun! Once I fell off so my friend had to grab my hand I dragged along the snow behind the sled, until I fell and my friend landed on top of me, so my head flew backwards and I cracked my head on the ice.

There were so many injuries though! My brother's lip bled, so did my friend's, my friend's sister hit her head on a tree, and I hit my head backwards three times.

But I don't think I've ever had so much fun!

Yup. I changed my "name" again.

Once again, I've changed my display name. It's now "iluvcolinford", and my picture is of Colin Ford and Elle Fanning. So if someone you've never heard of before comments on your stuff, it's probably me. Oh, and I'd LOVE some constructive criticism on that story beginning I've just posted, if anyone feels up to it. No biggie.

Au revoir,

Mrs. Ford

The beginnings of what was supposed to be my NaNoWriMo novel, until I lost inspiration.

“Hey, loser. Watch where you're going!” “Yeah, freak!”

Big, dumb, ugly Elijah Forestt and his (if possible) bigger, dumber, and uglier friends shoved me into a locker and laughed as my books went flying. Then the three of them sauntered off, looping their thumbs into their belt loops, looking to all the world an innocent trio of boys off to the library. But I knew better.

As I scrambled to pick up my books, pens, and papers, I noticed two things. First, my Chem lab that Tim and I had worked so hard on was torn and dirty, and second, that my binder had ripped. Again. There's only so much magic that duct tape can really do. You may think that Elijah, Parker, and Anthony would get expelled, but that's not the case. At my school, South High, academics mean nothing. It's all about the athletics. That's why I, Clayre Michelle Trick, mean nothing. No one cares what I get on tests. They care if Brian Worthington scored the winning touchdown, or if Sam Figgins shot a basket. That's why I'm constantly getting shoved into lockers and called names. That's why I have to guard my secret.

My doctors told me to go shopping at the mall, in the same stores as everyone else, so I might fit in. My mother told me that people will want to be my friend, no matter what my IQ. She said I'd come home the first day and be amazed at how many new friends I'd have. She was wrong. Without Tim, I'd be completely friendless.

I don't really understand Tim. He really could have had it all. He looks like your typical golden boy, with his brown hair and honey highlights and his gorgeous brown eyes, but he totally hates the popular crowd. “Just a bunch of stuck-up bitches,” he calls them, and he's right. But why he chose to hang out with me, the British freak with ratty hair and guy's clothes, is beyond me.

When I went out to the bus, I mentally prepped myself for what was to come. Sam and Parker ride my bus, and they get immense amounts of pleasure out of making my life miserable.

Clutching my jean jacket tighter around me, I shivered. It was nearing December and the weather was getting colder every day. I dug in my pockets for my iPod. Jamming the earbuds into my ears, I sighed in sweet relief as the Who's “The Real Me” leaked into my head. School for me is like drowning in a pool of molten lava, then treading with my head above, only to be plunged back under, even more harshly. Music is my only escape. These men and women felt the same way I do now, but they had the means to escape it. They poured their emotions into their music, giving us the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Who, the Clash, ACDC, etc. My favorite is the Who, by far. The emotion is just so clear in their music, even after forty years. When I listen to the Who, my angers, fears, worries, and doubts just melt away. It takes me on a trip back in time, to a place where people are like me, understand me, and befriend me.

I walk into the house, yanking the earbuds from my ears. “Hi, sweetie! How was your day?” Mom was in the kitchen making supper. I shrugged. “You know.”

Mom's eyes softened. Her soft gray hair tumbled around her shoulders. She's a bit older than most parents of kids my age. She's got four kids already in college or grown up with their own families, so I think having a seventeen-year-old at home, especially one as screwed up as I, is really stressful for her sometimes.

“That bad, huh? What was it this time?” She's talking about what was ruined today. I shrugged, not willing to be pitied. “Chem lab. Binder.” I gruffly reply. “Oh no! Sweetheart, you've got to do something!” Mom's tone turned disapproving. “You know, I'm always here for you. I could go talk to your teachers if you want.” I used to hate it when she did that, but now it seemed like it might be a welcome relief to clue someone in, to have more then just Tim on my side, but I can't. She couldn't possibly understand what I go through every day, how much I dread school.

I go downstairs to my bedroom. Mom and Dad let me sleep in the basement after they realized that it was soundproof and they wouldn't have to listen to blasting music 24/7. I crank up the Beatles and pull out my math homework. It's sixty-eight trigonometry problems. I'm done in ten minutes.

Next, for English, I grab the Odyssey. I flip through it. I don't need to totally reread it because I read it in kindergarten for fun. I just need to remember it.

With my bed shaking and my speakers thumping to the beat of “Come Together”, I go over to my desk and open a large drawer. It's full of duct tape, scissors, and the occasional glue stick. I call it my “Fixit Drawer”.

the Awkward Moment when...

Nobody's blogged in forever! Between Facebook and my diary, I have nothing to blog about anymore! I haven't done a real post in forever. Well, it's Meredith Stepien's birthday today. But no one here knows who she is, so...

Has anyone seen "We Bought a Zoo"? I did, last Friday, and it's amazing! The guy who's now the background of my blog plays Matt Damon's son in it. His character is Dylan Mee but his real name is Colin Ford. He's 15 and he's soooooo cute. I love his hair, haha.

Anything new?

New Blog!!!

hey everyone! My friend cami errant (remember her?) has a new blog!! Check it out at www.bright-fiction.blogspot.com.