The rest of my life

Okay. My little sister Georgette has decided to plan out the rest of my life for me. Here goes.

First, I'm going to marry my neighbor, Fred Blackberry. (That's not his real name.)
Then, I'll divorce him because my "daughter", who's actually my sister, thinks he's weird.
I'll then get married to Mick Jagger, the young and hot one. (Woo-hoo!!!!! Oh yeah!!!!!) But I'll divorce him after three days.
After the divorce, I'll marry George Harrison, who's apparently alive, for all of my sister's intents and purposes, and divorce him after two years. 
 Next, I'll marry Logan Lerman!!!!!!!!!!!! (I am one lucky girl!!!!!) But after three years, we divorce. 
I'll then marry George again, and then divorce him again. 
Then I finally get to marry Paul McCartney, but I leave him after one day. Guess I was drunk or something. I mean, come on. What girl in their right mind leaves Paul McCartney? (The young one.)
Next, I'll marry Ringo Starr, but apparently his "odor stinks up the house, so goodbye Ringo". Those were my sister's exact words. 
Next, I marry Peter Noone, the lead singer of another '60s band, called "Herman's Hermits". You might have heard their song "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter"?
Sadly for me, after a year, poor Peter falls into a volcano and dies. (Why was he on a volcano anyway? This isn't Star Wars!!!)
After Peter's funeral, I'll marry Eric Burdon, the lead singer of yet another '60s band, called The Animals. Y'all have got to have heard "The House of the Rising Sun", right?
I'll divorce Eric and marry John Lennon's ashes. (Notice how George Harrison gets to be alive again but not John. I'd rather John than George, but my sister has other ideas.) 
I'll then divorce John's ashes because, get this. They wouldn't talk to me!!! And it didn't help that Yoko Ono was continuously beating me over the head with a bat.
I'll then marry Gerry, from the NEXT '60s band, called Gerry and the Pacemakers. ("Don't let the Sun Catch You Crying"?)
Yet again, I'll divorce someone for selfish reasons. I'll divorce Gerry because he doesn't look good in a tuxedo. 
Finally, I'll "marry" Gabe Ugliano, Percy Jackson's deranged stepfather in the beginning of the series, but seeing as he smelled so bad I couldn't even say "I do", well, I fled that scene. 
And then I'll die lonely because Logan had another girlfriend and Paul was dead. 



Sucks for me.