vanfullofnuns- the beginning

One day, a beat-up black van was seen driving down an innocent country road. It seemed to be filled with people. What was really in this van, you ask? Let’s go back in time and find out.


“Sister Berrrrtha! We need to gooooooooooo now!” Sister Julia screamed at the top of her lungs. Six nuns, Sisters Julia, Bertha, Molly, Lucy, Eleanor, and Prudence lived in a convent in southern Wisconsin, and they loved road trips, especially when the road trip led to a new church youth group carnival. They loved youth group carnivals, except when clowns are there. Sister Julia hates clowns. They make her need to go to the bathroom.
“Coming! Be patient!” Sister Bertha screeched. “Well, we’re in the van already!” And it was true. Sisters Molly, Lucy, Eleanor, and Prudence were in the beat-up old van that took the sisters everywhere. Sister Julia was still outside of it yelling to Sister Bertha.
Finally, Sister Bertha waddled out of the convent, carrying a large suitcase. “I’m-sorry,” she puffed, for she was a very portly woman. “I-have-so-many-habits! I-needed-to-find-a-big-case-for-them-all!” She shook her curly grey hair. “We really do need to have a garage sale when we get back. My back really is going to break if I keep this up.” Sister Lucy sighed. “In the car, please!” “Fine!” Sister Julia helped Bertha shove her suitcase into the trunk with the others. “Wow,” she exclaimed, “It really is heavy!” Sister Bertha just rolled her eyes. They hopped in the car and were off.




Driving down the highway, singing along with Toby Mac, the sisters discussed where they were headed off to this time. “I want to go swimming!” said Sister Molly. “I want to go to the library!” said Sister Prudence. “I want to go to Liverpool!” yelled Sister Eleanor joyfully. “Where?” asked Julia, Prudence, Molly, Lucy and Bertha. Sister Eleanor made the sign of the cross, as if praying for all the poor people who don’t know where Liverpool is. “Never mind.” She sighed. “What about the petting zoo?” asked Lucy. “We haven’t been to the petting zoo in ages! We used to really like it there, remember? The little goats and bunnies and lambs? They’re so fluffy! Let’s go there today!” There were general sounds of agreement from the sisters, then Bertha remembered, “Oh, no! The nearest petting zoo is three days away! That’s a long time!” She looked like she was about to cry. “Oh, Bertha, it’s okay! We can just fly there in an airplane!” said Sister Julia, the peacemaker. Bertha perked right up. “Okay!” she said brightly. Well, this was a first. The nuns not traveling in their van? It’s never been done before.

Two hours and one-and-a-half Toby Mac CD’s later, the nuns arrived at the Wisconsin Airport, bags in their hands. They managed to find their plane, get on it, and settle down in their seats without one misshape, something that astonished even sensible Sister Eleanor. Once the plane had taken off, the nuns whipped out their cell phones and started texting each other about the petting zoo.