Dear Maggie-

Dear Maggie,

How are you? We're not so well, but we'll get better as time goes by. We miss you a lot. This morning, I got out of bed and swore I heard that little bell that you always have on your collar. I jumped back into bed and started crying. It turns out that the "bell" was just the sound of the second hand on my watch ticking. "Tick tick tick tick tick," turned into, because of my twisted and warped mind, "Jingle jingle jingle jingle silence "Mom! The cat's bell fell off again!!!"." It was epic. NOT. It also made me think, though. It made me wonder what you're up to, and if you've met Lady Linda and Keith Moon yet. If you have, tell Lady Linda I am extremely jealous of her, and tell Keith that, "Man! Your drumming is SICK! Like, in "Won't Get Fooled Again"!!!!!"  Also tell Keith that he's still got a fangirl in me. (If you don't know what a fangirl is, ask my friend urFACE.) Love you!
Gertrude

Wow. Looky here. I somehow managed to turn a really sad letter to my cat into an opportunity to obsess over a long-dead hot British "rock star". I reallllllllly don't wanna  say "Fail" right now, but I can't think of a more appropriate word, so fail.